Yelp of the day

Panochey E. on Spinato’s Pizza in Phoenix:

I’ve got bad news for you. One day, you’re gonna’ die.

I’ve also got good news for you. You’re gonna wake up and be standing at the pearly gates.

The bad news is that they’re gonna’ be closed.

The good news is that they more than likely are going to swing wide for you and a choir of heavenly angels will sing as you walk through.

The bad news is that your Aunt Agnes, who used to like to pinch the crap out of your cheek until she kicked the bucket will be there to greet you.

The good news is that she’s going to hand you a box that says “Spinato’s” on it.

You open the box. If it’s empty, you’re in hell.

But more than likely, it’s got a piping hot, fresh-made a Mamma Spinato’s Signature Fresh Spinash pie. Your piehole will be dripping, and as you lift a piece to your lips, even Aunt Agnes’s pinching of your cheek will seem like a blessing.

Yeah, it’s that good. If they serve pizza in heaven, it’s Mamma Spinato’s.